What Is Social Anxiety? Signs You Might Have It & What to Do
We all feel nervous in social situations at times. Whether it's giving a presentation at work or meeting new people at a party, these moments can make anyone feel a bit anxious. But for some people, social situations trigger overwhelming fear that goes far beyond typical nervousness.
Social anxiety disorder, also known as social phobia, affects millions of adults. It's more than just being shy or introverted.
What Exactly Is Social Anxiety?
Social anxiety is an intense fear of being scrutinized or evaluated negatively by others in social or performance situations. People with social anxiety often worry excessively about saying something wrong, being judged, rejected, or appearing foolish to others.
This fear can be specific to certain situations, like public speaking or eating in front of others, or it can be more generalized, affecting most social interactions. The anxiety is typically disproportionate to the actual threat posed by the social situation.
Common Signs of Social Anxiety
Physical Symptoms
Rapid heartbeat or pounding chest
Sweating, trembling, or shaking
Nausea or stomach upset
Muscle tension
Blushing or feeling hot
Dizziness or lightheadedness
Emotional and Mental Symptoms
Intense fear of judgment or criticism
Overwhelming self-consciousness in social situations
Fear of embarrassing yourself
Worry about others noticing your anxiety symptoms
Anticipatory anxiety before social events
Difficulty making eye contact
Behavioral Signs
Avoiding social situations entirely
Staying quiet in group settings
Declining invitations or making excuses
Arriving late or leaving early to minimize social interaction
Using alcohol or substances to cope with social situations
Excessive preparation or rehearsing before social events
It's normal for people to feel a combination of the above symptoms in social situations, especially if they're performing or presenting. But those suffering from social anxiety experience these symptoms to a crippling degree.
How Social Anxiety Affects Daily Life
Social anxiety can significantly impact your quality of life. It might affect your ability to form relationships, advance in your career, or participate in activities you'd otherwise enjoy. Many people with social anxiety report feeling isolated and misunderstood.
You might find yourself avoiding job interviews, declining social invitations, or struggling to speak up at school or in meetings. Over time, these avoidance patterns can limit your opportunities and reinforce the anxiety cycle.
What You Can Do About It
Challenge Negative Thoughts
Start paying attention to the thoughts running through your mind in social situations. Are you assuming others are judging you harshly? Are you predicting catastrophic outcomes? Challenge these thoughts by asking yourself how likely that is to happen. Did it happen the last time you went out? Probably not. So, think about your past experiences and consider more balanced perspectives.
Practice Gradual Exposure
Instead of avoiding social situations entirely, try gradually exposing yourself to less threatening interactions first. Start small. Perhaps make eye contact with a cashier or ask a coworker a question, then gradually work up to more challenging situations.
Focus on Others
When you're anxious, you tend to focus intensely on yourself and how you're coming across. Shift your attention outward. Listen actively to what others are saying, ask questions about their experiences, and focus on connecting rather than on your own performance.
Use Relaxation Techniques
Deep breathing and progressive muscle relaxation can help manage the physical symptoms of anxiety. Practice these techniques regularly, not just when you're feeling anxious.
Therapy Can Be Essential
If social anxiety is significantly interfering with your work, relationships, or daily activities, it's time to consider professional help. Cognitive behavioral therapy and acceptance and commitment therapy have both shown excellent results for social anxiety.
An anxiety therapist can help you identify thought patterns that contribute to your anxiety and develop practical strategies for managing social situations more effectively. You don't have to navigate this alone. Remember, social anxiety is common and treatable. With the right support and strategies, you can develop the confidence to engage more fully in social situations and live the life you want. I invite you to reach out soon.